Yesterday started out like a normal Christmas prep day... but I should know after so many years of being mom that one should be prepared for anything. Everyone made their appropriate bus and was headed for school. I had managed to wrap my aunt's gift, dress the baby and head out myself. I picked up my mom, who is recovering from a recent shoulder surgery and we began our errands. Upon arrival at the mall, I realized I had left the stroller behind at home. No big deal I thought... I have the child restraint so the baby can walk! At 22 months this should be fine. Oh silly me... She was pulling apart displays quicker than I could put them back together. After an hour of reorganizing shelves in various stores, I picked her up and she threw a fit. I put her down to walk, but now she was mad and I would pay for not letting her have her way. She lay on the floor kicking and screaming... demanding sympathetic looks from understanding people and disapproving ones from others. I am tempted to hand over the leashed child to the tsk-tskers... but try reasoning with her instead. The manager of the store we were now in is staring me down and following me through the store... all I can do is pray that my mother can find the items she is looking for so we can get out of there. I put the tyrant on my shoulders and we go to carry the packages as gramma can not use her arm and that is why we are here. Packages on arms, cup in hip pocket, baby on shoulders we forge on. My hair clipped up on my head is the next target. She now was pulling my neat coifer out strand by strand. Not only is this painful, but now I was sporting a Don King look. Gramma and I have to pee, so we begin frantically searching for the nearest rest room. I go into the handicap one with my burden and begin to unload so I can use the facility. I stand the baby on the floor hang up the packages and go do my thing... the baby still attached to my wrist is pulling and contortioning to get free... I lose my squatters balance and land on the floor, my jeans in a puddle next to the sink. I pray, Please God let that be water! My pants are all wet on the seat by the crotch... how can I go out into the mall? I had intentionally left my coat in the car. I was wearing a button up sweater and a tank top. I take off my sweater and tie it around my waist to cover my bottom. We need only make it through Penney's, get my husband's gift and then we are free to go home. Again, not as easy as I had hoped. The baby now a limp rag on the floor refuses to move and will not let me pick her up. Her coat is fully under her and she is wearing a harness... I begin playfully dragging her across the floor. She giggles as we go. We are getting those looks again. We make it through check out and get to the car. We safely get gramma home and head up I75 toward home. All I can think of is a hot shower and clean clothes... the baby had fallen asleep and it was peaceful... that is until she began to make a fussing sound and then gurgle and then... aaaagh... projectile vomiting as I was going 70mph down the highway! It was hitting the back of my head! Not sure what to do I examine the rearview mirror to assess the situation. She is covered in the stuff, but breathing. The next off ramp is the rest stop... I am navigating straight for it. We pull into the first available parking spot. I turned to clean her up... there is no way. I unzip her coat and wipe off her face. We would be home in 15 minutes where I could do the job.
Reflecting back, paying a baby sitter - priceless!
No comments:
Post a Comment